The Guys at the O.B.E.
pick a few could be stiffs for 1999

1. JOE DIMAGGIO - Not only could he shag a fly, he can shake a coma pretty good too. DIED MARCH 7, 1999

2. SARAH KNAUSS - She was born in 1880, holy crap! DIED DECEMBER 30, 1999

3. MADAME CHAING KAI-SHEK - She was born in 1897. See, made in Taiwan ain't so bad after all.

4. BOB HOPE - In 1998 his death was announced in Congress. We're just waiting for Bob to turn up his hearing aid.

5. BORIS YELTSIN - Yeltsin Schmeltsin failing health's in.

6. LENI RIEFENSTAHL - Hey Leni, seen Goebbels lately? We think you might be.

7. POPE JOHN PAUL II - We see some black smoke a-risin'.

8. SENOR WENCES - "It's expensive?" What, funeral arrangements? DIED APRIL 20, 1999

9. THE QUEEN MOTHER - What does she do anyway?

10. JIMMIE DAVIS - "Please don't take my sunshine away." Heh, heh, heh.

11. JOHNNY CASH - He's already dressed for the occasion.

12. CAL RIPKEN SR. - His son is the Iron Man. He may need an iron lung. DIED MARCH 25, 1999.

13. ALLEN FUNT - When you least expect it. DIED SEPTEMBER 5, 1999