THE O.B.E. MAIL BAG

This portion of the O.B.E is dedicated to those of you who are among the living. During the course of the year, feel free to e-mail the O.B.E. with thoughts, opinions, and general fun stuff.

This page reads from the top down. Wanna go directly to the most recent postings? Just press this thingy


EXOENDO ZUZUBAR:
I think it's important now to point out, since none of the proles in this game seemed to notice our genius, that if you read the first letter of each name on our death list from top to bottom, it spells out "Farmer Lazy Toe"

Is there no end to exo/zuzu greatness? (that was rhetorical . . .)


THE BABY CRUSHERS:
The way you gave out the prizes is the exact reason for my email recently.

The way it should be is this(and I do understand this is your Death pool and you guys are in charge but I feel that there is a fundamental error in thinking, not a who is a celebrity or not type of decision) :

FIRST ($360) Mike R. Used To Be Good At This - 8,10


SECOND ($240 divided evenly, $120 each)
Deathpool Jeff - 7, 7
SickPuppy_NOLA - 7,7

You see, 3 places can only be occupied by 3 teams.
Worm Fodder - 6,10 came in fourth!!!! Can you understand my logic? This is the way it is done in all competitions that i know of. From Pro-Golf to any Deathpool. Jeff and SickPuppy_NOLA are noty getting what they deserve for being tied for 2nd place. They are actually 2nd and 3rd place. They should each get $120.

OK....I hope you guys are not upset with me for harpng on this but this is how this type of situation is handled.

Thanks for listening.

THE GUYS:
We understand what you're saying for sure. We used to award the prizes that way. Several years back we changed the rules to allow more people to place, recognizing that the prize split might not make as much sense. We've toyed with going back to the old way but figured there wouldn't be too many tiesso it wouldn't make a big difference. In essence, you could think of it as three separate competitions. May not be the best way, but its been working and we don't think anyone has gotten too upset about it to date. Based on this email, we'll see what kind of player response we get. If enough folks want it changed, we can do that for the 2014! All the best and thanks for playing.

THE BABY CRUSHERS:
That sounds reasonable. And it is your death pool and you make the rules.

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly.

Have a great New Year!!!! And may you and your families have a healthy and happy 2014!!!

THE GUYS:
First we gotta have a happy, healthy 2013! ;-)


DEATH POOL JEFF:
When will you mail out checks for this? Also, did you get my entry for 2013?

THE GUYS:
The rules indicate we notify no later than Jan 30th and pay out no later than Feb 23. However, it will likely be well before that (mid-Jan is typical). Note that you have tied for second which means a split second place pot ($75 each to two second place winners). Because that would mean the two second place winners would rake in less than the one third place winner, The Guys are looking at increasing the payout to each second place winner to $100. No promises yet, but that's the plan.

Finally, we did get your entry. The new pool should be up on the website on Jan 10, 2013.

THE BABY CRUSHERS:
I was just looking through the archives and discovered that I have participated in the last 10 years of the O.B.E. That is 1 decade!!!!! I am starting decade number 2 in 2013 and plan on being of part of this lunacy for as long as you guys keep the pool going.

I wanted to thank you for 10 years of fun and laughs. Your sense of humor makes being in the O.B.E. even more enjoyable. Thank you so much for giving me this diversion from life!!!

All the best to you and your families!!!!

THE GUYS:
Much thanks for the nice note. We love running this thing most of the time, but there have certainly been moments where we pretty much wanted to pack it in. Bottom line, it's knowing that folks like you enjoy it (and of course, how much it cracks us up sometimes too) that keeps us going. Of course, the beer doesn't hurt either.

Have a great 2013!


EXOENDO ZUZUBAR:
Team exo/zuzu 100% agrees with baby crushes analysis of deathpool and sickpuppy getting 2nd and 3rd. (and thus they should have split the second and third place prizes). It makes zero sense to punish two players that performed better and had a better list with less money. If you place above another player, you should be rewarded for it, not punished, it's as simple as that.

Also, there are lots of ties, we just had one in 2012, and we had a 7 way tie or something like that in 2011. In 2011, it didn't technically matter because everyone that split 3rd 7 ways deserved third place, but the point is that ties in this game are not some unforeseen thing. They actually come up quite often.

The only motivation would be to keep people in the hunt, which makes the game more exciting if you think you are in it to the end, but if that's the case I would rather see payouts to 5 places (and thus less overall for 1st, 2nd, 3rd places), rather than letting 3rd place win more money over 2nd.

p.s.
regarding our email about "Farmer lazy toe" - that was for the 2012 list . . . obviously.

ALMOST AS CERTAIN AS TAXES:
Hey, did I miss something? Can't find my entry on the site! My New Year's resolution this year: to outlive the 13 people listed!

I wanted to thank you for 10 years of fun and laughs. Your sense of humor makes being in the O.B.E. even more enjoyable. Thank you so much for giving me this diversion from life!!!

All the best to you and your families!!!!

THE GUYS:
We're on it... the problem is that you had sent your entry to Matt and not to the OBE email address. Steve puts the site together and crunches the numbers; so he's got it now and will remash the numbers and then redo the page. Give us a few days.

(Later that night....)

Sorry for the omission of your list. The situation has been resolved and the Entry, Statistics, and Standings pages have been updated accordingly. Of course, entering all this info after everything else was already done was a real pain in the ass. It took close to 90 minutes and three beers.

With that in mind, let us make something clear to you: We put a lot of effort into getting your list up on that page. You had damn well better outlive these 13 folks (and then some) or we're gonna be really pissed.

Keep the faith man

ALMOST AS CERTAIN AS TAXES:
Ha! Thanks Steve, I'll do my damnedest. Now I'm starting to wish I hadn't put Keith Richards on there, he's going to be a tough one to beat!

Crazy coincidence, it took me three beers to wait for the update. Next time I promise I'll remember to send the picks to the OBE instead of Matt. Thanks again!


MULEKICKERS:
Thanks for posting all of that information. This is what I did with it so I can track my progress during the year. I thought you might get a laugh out of it. (Note: Attached was a rather nice spread sheet designed to track pool performance).

THE GUYS:
No sooner did we send out the Bulletin than we got an email from a player indicating their list wasn't posted. They were right. We've updated everything to reflect this. In addition, we found a few errors in the stats. You may want to redo that spreadsheet

MULEKICKERS:
No problem.

THE GUYS:
(The next day)
To make matters worse, we've just gotten two more emails claiming missing lists. We will investigate. May be more changes.

MULEKICKERS:
No worries from me...sadly, I enjoy putting together spreadsheets.

THE GUYS:
Want a three week job every January? It doesn't pay anything, but we drink alot of beer.

MULEKICKERS:
Sure. I don’t drink beer, but that’s cool.

THE GUYS:
We forgive you.


SILENCE OF THE LAUGHS:
Complaints? Not a one! Great work, and it looks like it really was a lot of work this year. Thanks for doing this.

THE GUYS:
Thank you for the kind words.


BREATHLESS ANTICIPATION:
Minor problem. Prince Philip and I fight the same battle - people are always adding an extra "l" to our names.

THE GUYS:
Understood and addressed. Hiccup.


13 TO BE PUSHING UP GREEN IN 2013:
How could you veto Chrissy Houston? She has he rown reality TV show with her Dad. Not taking her would be the same as rejecting any of the Jersey Housewives or characters from the Jersey Shore or Honey Boo Boo or her Mom!!!

THE GUYS:
We usually do not like to address these sort of emails but right of the top of our heads...

a: Rule 7.2
REALATIONSHIP ALONE: A pick whose celebrity status is contingent on their relationship to another celebrity will not be considered a valid pick. No "mother of," "father of," "sister of," "brother of," "wife of," "husband of," or any other darn relationship familial or otherwise of. Picks like John Voight (father of Angelina Jolie but also a well known actor) are good. Picks like Vergie Arthur (Anna Nicole Smith's mother) are bad - very bad!

b: Type Chrissy Houston name into a google search

1. The first two searches we get are hits that are directly tied to Whitney and the fact that Chrissy is her daughter.

2. A facebook page, a twitter page and nail salon - none of which are even hers.

Now even if we put her name in spelled correctly as Bobbi Kristina Houston Brown, the first hit labels her as "Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown" not even a wiki bio on the first page of hits.

'Nuf said.


GONE WITH THE WORMS:
New Rule for 2013

If you are a top winner – no prize money will be awarded to any person who does not contribute at least $10 by February 1st.

Just sayin’

THE GUYS:
No can do. That's called "consideration" and it would change the nature of the game in a way that could cause us headaches.

RIGHT SAID DEAD:
I sent in an entry for 2013 that should have been post marked Dec 27 or 28. The team name was Right Said Dead. I did not see it listed and I was wondering if you received it and if there was a problem with it. Please let me know when you have a chance. Thanks.

THE GUYS:
We did not receive this entry via email or regular mail. We last checked our PO yesterday. We will check again this weekend. If it's there and postmarked before Jan 1, 2013, we'll gladly add it to the game.


LATE, GREAT AND DEAD:
Didn't see my list posted.
It was mailed long before the 12-31 date.
Name is Late, Great and Dead.
Please advise if you received it.

THE GUYS:
We did not receive this entry via email or regular mail. We last checked our PO yesterday. We will check again this weekend. If it's there and postmarked before Jan 1, 2013, we'll gladly add it to the game.


SICK PUPPY_NOLA:
Quick question… How do I collect my winnings? Should I be keeping an eye on my mail for a check/money order?

There’s no rush on this, just curious.

Also, thanks for running this activity. It’s a great source of entertainment through the year.

THE GUYS:
Collect your winnings? You didn't think we really paid out, did you?

Only kidding. We'll be in touch with all winners shortly to determine their preference for collection (check or PayPal). From there, we send it on out and you get to spend it at the bar!


EXOENDO ZUZUBAR:
who actually mails a physical list these days? That is just beyond all measures of strange.

THE GUYS:
Lots of folks actually. It's retro.


MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE:
(Regarding the Stats Page). Barack Obama-Presidential Candidate. I believe he won.

THE GUYS:
Yeah, but you believed Ronnie Hawkins was a celebrity too, so we're a little skeptical.

MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE:
I hate you.


ASHLEY:
So I have a question since it is now Jan 12, do you all have statistics about how far into a year the contest went without anyone getting any points. What is the longest time passed into a new year that anyone had a hit on the dead.. i e no points. What made me think of it as I just looked at 2013 and PP is the only one who has expired and no one has any points as of this morning. Does that make sense because

THE GUYS:
Because......Because..... Because what? We're dying to know.

ASHLEY:
because my brain is water logged this morning and I had nothing better to do than ask a silly question on a Sunday morning..LOL

THE GUYS:
Last year was the deepest into the year before a death from a list. The death was Etta James, the date was 1/20/2012. The next deepest was our first year online, 1998. The death was Carl Perkins, the date was 1/19/1998. Several times we've had hits on January 1, the most interesting being 2001 when two picks from lists hit, John Steadman and Bobbi Olson.


THE "EX" FILE:
Saw your e-mail about the 2 MIA entries that finally showed up, and the update to the Entries page. I noticed that you hadn't had the chance to update the Statistics page yet to account for the new lists so I took the liberty of putting the attached (spreadsheet) together for you. Hope it helps.

Besides Patrick Macnee and Walter Mondale being new additions to the game, it looks like there were a couple of points changes needed with the new entries: Bobby Doerr and Charlotte Rae were both added to a 2nd list dropping their point value from 5 to 4, and Arnold Palmer and Buddy Ryan were each added to a 3rd list dropping them from 4 points to 3.

And yes, I drank a couple of beers while doing this... I think that makes it at least semi-official.

THE GUYS:
Not only did you drink beer while making the spreadsheet, you found the errors we had in the original stats. We're pleased to see that folks actually get something outta all these crazy Stats.

THE "EX" FILE:
Speaking for myself, I get a lot of fun outta playing this every year... and the stats make a great target for my anal retentive tendencies. LOL.

THE GUYS:
We're super glad you enjoy it! That's what keeps us going.


STUPID CELEBRITY ZOMBIES:
I was looking over the entries and was wondering why my alternate celeb was not listed.. I have seen him on other lists, and left off the posted list you have for me. Did I not format the 'list correctly?

My alternate was Nelson Mandela...

THE GUYS:
The rules require the submission of a list with 13 picks plus one alternate. The alternate is exercised if one of your picks dies between the time you submit and the start of the Death Watch and ONLY in that case.

You submitted a list with 12 picks plus one alternate. You still get to play, but the 13th position is left blank as you did not submit a name in that position.

From Section 6.0 The Alternate

"Each list submitted should be comprised of 13 living celebrity picks and one Alternate living celebrity pick. The Alternate is exercised in the event that one (and only one) of a Death Watcher's submitted picks kicks off before the stroke of midnight on January 1 of the game year. In this case, the Alternate will be used to replace the celebrity that bites it.

The Alternate is only used if the death occurs AFTER a list is postmarked (for mailed or e-mailed lists) or received by one of The Guys at the OBE (for hand delivered lists). A list containing picks that were already dead when the list was prepared simply participates one or more pick(s) short for the duration of the game. The Alternate is not exercised in such cases.

An Alternate may be exercised only once. If more than one celebrity on a submitted list pushes up daisies before the start of a game year, tough luck. In such cases the list will simply play out the year short that pick(s). The Guys know this kinda stinks for the Death Watcher who loses some picks but imagine how the folks who keeled over feel."

STUPID CELEBRITY ZOMBIES:
My bad, thought it was 12 celebs that had to meet their demise.. LOL... No worries.

Thanks for getting back to me...


MIKE R.:
Thanks, Guys! Your check and nice note were received in today's (Wednesday's) mail. Very generous prize money you're giving away in Dead Pool Land!

THE GUYS:
Glad you got it so quickly. As always, thanks for playing the game and for setting the bar high for the rest of the competition!


MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE:
Seriously Charles Schlatter is a celeb?

THE GUYS:
As described for the OBE Audience last year, he is included because we know him personally. Which makes it kinda funny. Also, because he is also a player. Which makes it even funnier.

MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE:
I know. I was kidding.

THE GUYS:
About Charlie or Ronnie Hawkins?

MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE:
Hawkins is a #$%&ing star. I have been drinking since 1 PM.


THE GUYS:
Queen:

Not only are you an "accomplished trainer and technical writer with 14 years of experience," you also ran an advice column for the Old Blue Eyes Memorial Celebrity Death Watch. A fact, we see, you opted to omit from your professional resume. We're hurt.

Hope all is well in the life of the Eve The Media Queen.

EVE THE MEDIA QUEEN:
Dr. Google strikes again! How are you?

I did have it on there at one time, but then I kept getting rejected for being "over qualified." Then the fan stalking started, and I had to invoke Florida's "Stand your ground" law about 7-10 times. It just got out of control.

Things are good over here. Got married, got divorced, moved to India, came back, rockin' and rollin'.

THE GUYS:
Media Queen (or should we use you more recent title of Karaoke Queen of the Universe?):

Better Dr. Google than Dr. Kevorkian (or Dr. Mengele for that matter)! Things are well with The Guys. We continue our online Death Watch and our constant, steady regression of maturity. Soon we'll be nothing more than two gametes (Steve made it clear to Matt that he gets to be the egg).

As for your decision to remove your O.B.E. writing experience from your resume; we are clearly disappointed but we do understand how stalkers can get out of line sometimes. We thought we recognized you in the papers early last year. Was Zimmerman your married name or just an alias you were using?

Glad to hear about your marriage, sad to hear about your divorce, uncertain how we feel about the whole India thing. Did you learn to play the sitar while you were over there? Did you get dysentery? Is that why you came back? Is that what you meant by "rockin' and rollin'?"

Do let us know.


EXOENDO ZUZUBAR:
van cliburn
&
Koop

Are both dead.

Time to start moving team exo/zuzu up the ladder like you usually have to.

Bonus - Haiku:

There have been some deaths
Koop is dead, So is cliburn
Time to update, bros

THE GUYS:
Response Haiku....

We know of the deaths
Beer and life and beer come first
Soon the page will change


THE BABY CRUSHERS:
I know the chances of this are slim to none(actually probably none) but could we do a restart on the 2013 O.B.E.????? I was going to put Hugo Chavez on my list but I read reports that said he was improving and I decided not to put him on my list. I was going to Put C. Everet Coop on my list but decided to put him on as my alternate. I was going to put Ed Koch on my list but he had gotten out of the hospital and seemed to be doing well so I didn't put him on my list. Then I didn't know about Bonnie Franklin having cancer until after the start of 2013. So, I am really doing bad in this years O.B.E. I do have Zsa Zsa on my list but she'll probably live to be 110!!!! I hate being so far behind the leader so soon.

If you do a restart I will be your best friend!!!!! I mean that!!!! No kidding!!!!! Really!!!!

Oh....before you make your decision, feel free to knock back a few kegs of beer!!!!

Ok.....I guess my hopes of a restart are just a fantasy!!!!! I hope I at least gave you guys a good chuckle!!!

THE GUYS:
Your email touched us in ways few have. Consequently, we have decided to make all deaths from Jan 1, 2013 to March 5, 2013 automatically ***Not A Celebrity*** thereby essentially restarting the 2013 Old Blue Eyes Memorial Celebrity Death Watch.

Oh, uh one little catch. In order for this change to become effective you need to give each of the other Death Watchers participating in the 2013 OBE a six pack of beer, a half dozen eggs, and your home address. We're pretty sure you can figure out where it all goes from there.

Let us know once you've delivered the goods and we'll make the updates.

MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE:
Well....I...Er...I guess I will rescind my request for a restart. Those conditions that you have put in place do not sound very pleasant.

Thank you for your considering the request!

Have a great evening!!!!

I still love the O.B.E.!!!!!

CAPE CADAVAR:
A hit for cape cadaver for Annette Funicello.

Whoo-hoo!! Now if nelson mandela would only cooperate….


CHARLIE S.:
Who is "Off With Their Heads"??

THE GUYS:
We're afraid we don't give out player information as a matter of policy. However, you can rest assured that it's someone who knows Matt and that won't try to kill you (we're pretty certain).

CHARLIE S.:
What a c*nt.


JEFF B.:
And on a sour note George Beverly Shea has passed away. I realize picking a 104 year old isn't very sporting but a point is a point.


MVP:
Abbott & Costello predicted this...




DEATH POOL JEFF:
What the hell is a "Wavy Gravy"? That is all.


RICHRD B:
I was just visiting the "Dead Folks," which is always fun! I have a suggestion: Cal Worthington, who passed away Sept. 8. He was a car salesman in California famous for his "My dog Spot" ads.

THE GUYS:
We're afraid Cal simply would not rise to the level of Celebrity in our little game. That having been said, we really appreciate your nice words about our webpage and your off-season donation (what a really nice surprise).

RICHARD B:
OK. Thanks again for your site!


OTIS, YOU WANT A TREAT?:
I noticed that you listed astronaut Malcolm Scott Carpenter among this year's deaths, but you didn't give credit to my "Otis" list for having him. Not that the score with Carpenter will make me a leader this year or anything, but there's still two-and-a-half months to go, and one never knows. (I was really stupid for leaving Van Cliburn off my list in O.B.E. this year, as I had the dead pianist multiple times in other games. With him, I coulda beem [more of] a contender!)

THE GUYS:
An error on our part. Sorry about that. The page has been made right! Thanks for the heads-up.

OTIS, YOU WANT A TREAT?:
Thanks! (The standings page needs to be updated, as well.)

THE GUYS:
It was updated. Try a refresh on the page. We checked and it clearly has you with 4 hits, 8 points. OTIS, YOU WANT A TREAT?:
All's well. Thanks again.


THE BABY CRUSHERS:
I just saw your bulletin and having a rule change named for me (The Baby Crushers Directive) is an honor!!!! Thank you for considering this and implementing it.

Altough I have only 1 death to this point(October 31st), I still love the O.B.E. and I hope I do much better in 2014!!!!!

Have a great end of 2013, have great holidays and you will get my 2014 entry shortly before the end of the year.


EXO:
"Baby Crushers' Directive" aka "you guys are finally doing the most obvious thing in the world and have finally seen the light not to punish 2 people that did better than someone below them because reasons'"

Well, it's only taken a decade and a half. good job guys. *golf clap*

THE GUYS:
Gosh we've missed you Exo.


ADAM:
Are you guys OK with a Canadian entering? And would Canadian money be an acceptable donation or should I write a check?

THE GUYS:
We welcome all entries, even if we can never forgive your country for Rick Moranis. If you go the PayPal route, they'll do the currency exchange for you. Otherwise, it's US$ please.


PHIL:
You've gotta put something up there about Mandela, eventually. How about "He's dead."

THE GUYS:
He died? Really? Crap! We better get on the ball.

We'll get there......eventually.

PHIL:
You guys are fine. I just can't imagine what punnies you'll be able come up with for a saint.


ANNIE:
ok, so I have been a long time supporter and player of OBE dead pool, and notice that it's no longer a .com but a .mx (mexico). WTH? is this legit or has someone hijacked your domain? I don't have a warm fuzzy about playing it now that it's hosted outside the US of A. :(

THE GUYS:
The OBE is as American as apple pie and credit card debt. For at least 2 years, our site has resided on a server found at http://www.flymetothetomb.x10.mx/index.html. However, it is still reachable via the main domain name www.flymetothetomb.com; which by the way was never anything more than a redirecting domain name. See, Verizon (our ISP) did away with providing web space many moons ago (because they are very cheap).

You really have nothing to be concerned about. We are here in the U.S. No player private information ever gets uploaded to our server (it all resides on a single computer and some back-ups here in the beautiful Garden State). The only thing that is on the server is what you see on the page.

So, play away in the USA.

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