EARTHA KITT (12/25/08) Singer and Actress. Age 81. Holy ninth life Batman!
HAROLD PINTER (12/24/08) Playwright. Age 78. Gives a whole new twist the the title "The Homecoming," doesn't it Harold?
LANSANA CONTE (12/22/08) President of Guinea. Age ~83. President of Guinea, eh. You ever see the pigs from there? You know what they do with those things?
MARK FELT (12/18/08) Deep Throat. Age 95. First Mark Felt, then he didn't.
MAJEL BARRETT (12/18/08) Actress and Trekkies' dream girl. Age 76. After all these years being affiliated with Star Trek, she finally got "red shirted".
SAMMY BAUGH (12/17/08) Football player and coach. Age 94. They called him Slingin' Sammy and that's exactly what a few workers at the cemetary were doing somewhere around December 19th.
VAN JOHNSON (12/12/08) Actor. Age 92. Dr. Kildare. Dr. Kildare. Uh, Dr. Kildare? Oh crap, code blue!
BETTY PAGE (12/11/08) Pin up girl. Age 85. After all those years of being pinned-up, she's finally been pinned-down.
SUNNY VON BULOW (12/6/08) Socialite, philanthropist, vegetable. Age 76. Looking forward it's going to be sunny, blue and very cold.
MICHAEL CRICHTON (11/4/08) Author. Age 66. The Terminal Man.
STUDS TERKEL (10/31/08)
Author/activist. Age 96. Think about it, most studs are put out to pasture long before 96.
MR. BLACKWELL (10/19/08)
Fashion commentator. Age 86. Frankly, all that black just doesn't work with the blue and the gray.
LEVI STUBBS (10/17/08)
Singer. Age 72. Unfortunately, I'll no longer be there to love and comfort you.
BORIS EFIMOV (10/1/08) Russian political cartoonist. Age 108. Some are saying it was old age. We suspect Moose and Squirrel.
PAUL NEWMAN (9/26/08)
Actor. Age 83. What we have here, is a failure to resuscitate.
SHERRILL HEADRICK (9/10/08) Football Player. Age 71. They called this dude "Psycho." That's
what ya get when you name your boy Sherrill folks.
JERRY REED (8/31/08)
Musician and actor. Age 71. Apparently there's a harsh distinction between having a smokey on your tail and some smokey in your lungs.
WLADEK "KILLER" KOWALSKI (8/30/08)
Wrestler. Age 81. His claw hold and thumb squeeze trapped
many a wrestler; let's see if Killer can break free of the
worm grip.
JERRY WEXLER (8/15/08) Music Producer. Age 91. Jerry coined the term "Rhythm & Blues." Currently he is getting away from the rhythm and delving a little more into the blues.
LEROY SIEVERS (8/15/08)
Journalist and commentator. Age 65. This pick rode a fine line between the "famous from disease exclusion" and well-known prior to disease. It snuck in this time around. Next year, not so much.
ISSAC HAYES (8/10/08)
Musician. Age 65. They killed Kenny! Nope, Chef.
BERNIE MAC (8/9/08)
Comedian. Age 50. Ocean's Eleven. Ocean's Twelve. Ocean's Thirteen. Oops, Ocean's Twelve again.
ALEKSANDER SOLZHENITSYN (8/3/08)
Author and dissident. Age 89. Off to that great big gulag in the sky.
JULIUS RICHMOND (7/27/08)
Former Surgeon General. Age 91. Hey, we're all gonna die. Julius just got a Head Start.
ESTELLE GETTY (7/22/08)
Actress. Age 84. The molding girl.
JO STAFFORD (7/16/08)
Singer. Age 90. Hey good lookin', what ya got cookin'? 'Cause it really could stand to be heated up a bit.
BOBBY MURCER (7/12/08)
Baseball Player. Age 62. Bobby took one hell of beanball this time.
TONY SNOW (7/12/08)
Pundit and Presidential Press Secretary. Age 53. A freshly fallen silent shrouded Snow.
MICHAEL DEBAKEY(7/11/08)
Cardiovascular Surgeon. Age 99. Don't swell my heart my DeBakey breaky heart...
EVELYN KEYES (7/4/08)
Actress. Age 91. Frankly Suellen, no one gave a damn.
JESSE HELMS (7/4/08)
Politician. Age 86. We're not sure what got him but we suspect it wasn't a bleeding heart.
CLAY FELKER (7/1/08) Founded New York Magazine. Age 82. Oh well. We really didn't think much of his American Idol performance anyway.
DODY GOODMAN (6/22/08)
Actress. Age 91. She's got chills, they're multiplying.
GEORGE CARLIN (6/22/08) - Comedian. Age 71. Seven words....finished, departed, expired, kaput, deceased, late, dead.
JEAN DELANNOY (6/18/08)
Actress. Age 100. Jean's death annoyed, that's for sure.
CYD CHARISSE (6/17/08) - Actress/Dancer. Age 86. The Unfinished Dance. Indeed.
TIM RUSSERT (6/13/08) - Newsman. Age 58. That meeting with the press is going to have to be postponed.
TYRONE JONES (6/10/08)
Canadian football player. Age 46. There's a Canadian football league?
JIM MCKAY (6/7/08) - Sports Announcer. Age 86. Clearly not the thrill of victory....
BO DIDDLEY (6/2/08) - Musician. Age 79. "Have Guitar, Will Travel." Very, very far in fact.
YVES SAINT LAURENT (6/1/08) - Designer. Age 71. Au revior pretty boy.
HARVEY KORMAN (5/29/08) - Comedian. Age 81. Man, we're gonna miss this guy. We can almost hear him muttering "So long Dum-Dumbs."
SYDNEY POLLACK (5/26/08) - Director. Age 73. Most definitely out of Africa.
DICK MARTIN (5/25/08) - TV Director. Age 86. Apparently someone really socked it to him.
WILLIS LAMB (5/15/08)
Nobel Prize Winner - Physics. Age 94. Mutton.
IRENA SENDLER (5/12/08) - Hero. Age 98. Here's a lady responsible for rescuing 2,500 kids from the Warsaw ghetto during the Holocaust. What did you do today?
ROBERT MONDAVI (5/16/08) - Wine Maker. Age 94. Finally a little peace and quiet. All this guy ever did was wine, wine, wine.
EDDY ARNOLD (5/8/08) - Country Singer. Age 89. They called Eddy the Tennessee Plowboy. Apparently the plowing is done and it's planting season.
SIR ANTHONY MAMO (5/1/08) First President of Malta. Age 99. Imagine that. We always thought Malta was that stuff the Spanish guys drank at lunch.
ALBERT HOFMANN (4/29/08) - Discovered LSD. Age 102. Besides the often reported white light, there were the colors, oh the colors!
DANNY FEDERICI (4/17/08) - Musician. Age 58. Now they're called the D Street band.
CHARLTON HESTON (4/5/08) - Actor. Age 84.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes (in a Darwinian sense).
JULES DASSIN (3/31/08) - Director. Age 86.
Bit of a different type of blacklist this time, isn't it Jules?
MAX HELTON (3/30/08) - Founded Motor Racing Outreach. Age 67.
Max was the NASCAR Preacher. Sheesh, the NASCAR Preacher, we're surprised they didn't hold a state funeral.
RICHARD WIDMARK (3/24/08) - Actor. Age 93.
There's a Kiss of Death for ya, ay Richie boy?
ARTHUR C. CLARKE (3/16/08) - Author. Age 90.
2008: The ABSOLUTELY Final Odyssey.
BILL BROWN (3/16/08) - Cricketer. Age 95. Mr.
Brown was an Australian cricketer. In fact, he was 1938's Wisden Cricketer of the Year.
He was also on a one of Cricket's "Invincibles." Obviously a misnomer.
JEFF HEALEY (3/2/08) - Musician. Age 41. Jeff was
a blind, Canadian, guitarist. Those crazy Canadians, first a stupid short comedian then a blind
guitarist. What will they think of next, ay?
WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY JR. (2/27/08) - Comentator. Age 82.
Mr. Buckley was instrumental in fostering a 50 year rise in American Conservatism only to have
it end with George W. Bush. That's gotta be a disappointment.
JANZ DRNOVESK (2/23/08) - President of Slovania. Age 57. A regular Bob Hope this guy was.
ROY SCHEIDER (2/10/08) - Actor. Age 75.
The plans were to bury him at sea until the funeral director was told, in no uncertain terms,
"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
PHYLLIS A. WHITNEY(2/8/08) - Author. Age 104.
Ms. Whitney penned over 70 mystery novels. Her first book was titled, A Place for Ann.
Most recently, they've secured a place for Phyllis. A rather cold, damp place, but a place
none-the-less.
MAHARISHI MAHESH YOGI (2/5/08) - Spiritual Guru.
Age 91. He allegedly tried to make it with Mia Farrow once. That puts in him in some interesting
company. Day after day, alone on the hill, the man with the foolish grin is keeping PERFECTLY
still (and he's also getting a little ripe).
HARRY LANDIS (2/4/08) - One of only two
remaining U.S. WWI vets. Age 108. Celebrity? Yeah, we didn't think so either. Thing is, he
passed the test set up in the rules this year. It all had to do with the distinction between
"Oldest" and "Last Remaining." That's why we're scraping the rules next year
and just going to...ah, never mind we'll get to that part later.
EARL BUTZ (2/2/08) - Former Secretary of Agriculture.
Age 98. With a last name like Butz, we could really go for the cheap shots. But really folks, why
crack wise like that? Sure its cheeky, but where does that leave us? Some of you end up telling us
how crappy it is and, after reading all of those emails, we just feel wiped out. So, we'll just tell
you that Earl had to resign from office after making a racist joke which got reported in Rolling Stone.
What an ass.
MARGARET TRUMAN (1/29/08) - Author, Singer, and
TV Personality. Age 83. Sure she was Harry Truman's daughter but that's not what makes her famous.
Folks, we're talking Murder In The White House. Well, not literally. Uh, at least not that
we know of.
ARCHBISHOP CHRISTODOULOS (1/28/08) - Head of
the Greek Orthodox Church. Age 69. Apparently the guy knew how to run a pretty large religion
but we gotta tell ya, that stunt with the orange banners in Central Park was just plain
stupid. Huh? That was Chisto not Christodulos. Whatever.
GORDON HINCKLEY (1/27/08) - President of the
Mormon Church. Age 97. Mormon or not, what this guy did to president Reagan was just plain
terrible! Oh, crap, sorry wrong Hinckley.
FORMER PRESIDENT SUHARTO (1/27/08) - Indonesian
Dictator. Age 86. The guy's real name was Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono. BAM! BANG!
VIKTOR SCHRECKENGOST (1/26/08) - Industrial Designer. Age 101. Yeah, we know, he's no friggin' celebrity. He passed the 2008 criteria though. Grrr!
CHRISTIAN BRANDO (1/26/08) - Famous Actor's
wacky son. Age 49. And to think, he was such a good boy.
HEATH LEDGER (1/22/08) - Actor. Age 28.
Sheesh, now-a-days they all wanna be River Phoenix.
DON WITTMAN (1/19/08) - Canadian Sportscaster.
Age 71. He was a legendary Canadian sportscaster. What does that amount to? Hockey, golf,
track and field, and curling. Man, those guys should stick to brewing beer and making syrup.
And another thing we should mention to our friends up north, we still haven't forgiven you
for Rick Moranis.
SUZANNE PLESHETTE (1/19/08) - Actress (Emily Hartley).
Age 70. Newhart's in for a bit of a fright next time he wakes up from a dream, don't ya think?
GEORGIA FRONTIERE (1/18/08) - Rams Owner and Chairwoman.
Age 80. Obviously, it was not space but Georgia who was the final Frontiere.
ALLAN MELVIN (1/17/08) - Actor (Sam the Butcher
and Barney Hefner). We don't know what killed him but we certainly suspect he caught it from
Alice.
BOBBY FISCHER (1/17/08) - Chess Master. Age 64. As
for that whole Searching For Bobby Fischer thing, it's time to stop.
BRAD RENFRO (1/15/08) - Actor. Age 25. The nice
thing about being a child actor is how well adjusted it makes you later in life.
JOHNNY PODRES (1/13/08) - Major League ball
player. Age 75. Although he spent the bulk of his career with the Dodgers, Johnny was
unable to dodge this most recent set of events.
MAILA NURMI (1/10/08) - Vampira. Age 86. Some
hit you harder than others and this one really sucked.
SIR EDMUND HILLARY (1/10/08) - First to conquer
Mt. Everest. Age 88. Apparently Hillary lost the campaign.
GEORGE T.D. MOORE (1/8/08) - Jockey. Age 84.
So, people complain that we should count guys like this. Then his death doesn't get announced
until almost 20 days after it happens AND he doesn't get an AP obit. The only
jockeys we think matter are the ones holding up our yarbles.
YO-SAM CHOI (1/2/08) - WBC light-flyweight
champion. Age 33. We guess Sam got out-boxed. Or perhaps he just got re-boxed. Hmm.