THE O.B.E. MAIL BAG
This portion of the O.B.E is dedicated to those of you who
are among the living. During the course of the year, feel free to e-mail
the O.B.E. with thoughts, opinions, and general fun stuff.
This page reads from the top down. Wanna go directly to
the most recent postings? Just press this thingy
TATAKUKU:
Well you've got me - I am now officially guilty for being one of the lousy
ones who hasn't donated any cash. I would like to rectify this! Can I send
you some dosh via PayPal? It is easier than converting from Australian
currency!
Have to go now - my cat is clawing me!
THE GUYS:
Yup. Just go to the main page and hit the donate link. As an aside, chicks with cats scare
us a little. It's a thing.
BUCKET KICKERS:
I just wanted you to know I am sending you a check, but I am NOT using PayPal and thought you
should know why. Last August PayPal's security was compromised and some jerkwad in Great
Britain tried to draw over $2,000 from my "secured" PayPal account. When I notified PayPal
they said they were sorry but I owed them the money until the problem could be straightened
out. Can you believe that????
Needless to say they tried to draft my credit card AND my personal checking account, because
I had given them that info when I signed up with them. Recently an FBI agent from the San
Francisco area called me concerning the problem. He admitted PayPal was responsible, however
they still wanted their money and would return it to me whenever it was cleared up. (I
stopped payment on the credit card and blocked their draft from my checking account. So I
guess I'm not a nice guy!!! Frankly, Scarlet...)
At this point they still do not know who broke into all their accounts but insist I owe
them the money that was stolen from them through the secure account they managed for me.
Got it?? I only wish I could add PayPal to my list of endangered species for 2004.
Last year was a blast and hopefully my picks will move up from an 8th place finish!!!
When you get a chance, send me an address I can send the check. I'll be dying to hear
from you!!
THE GUYS:
Your story disturbs us. For five years we worked strictly on mail. However, it ultimatley
hurt the Death Watch as many players said they wanted PayPal for donations. They didn't use
the mail period! So, we'll stick it out but be very careful (keep a low balance). As for
the PayPal folks, if what you say is true, they should be beat to bloody pulp. We hate poor
cutomer service. Obviously, we're not too nice either.
STALKER:
Stalker is a Slacker whom totally dropped the ball... Did I tell you I have a new niece?
I also have a new windshield, brakes, and headlight.. (things only happen in 3's right?)
I came home from work about 7:30 tonight, and saw the OBE News in my e-mail, and realized
it is 2004.
THE GUYS:
Just keep emailing Stalker. We love the correspondence. Also, congratulations on your niece.
Is that sTALKER's sISTER's kid? Car accident?
Wait a minute. Holy cow! Its 2004?!! We had better get cracking.
STALKER:
No, the baby belongs to Stalker and sTALKER'S sISTER's
sister. No, not a car accident... Just a series of
unfortunate events. sigh...
I'm getting closer to you Guys. My man lives in
Staten Island, we spend the weekends in Picataway...
THE GUYS:
What's in Piscataway (it's that a way)?
STIFFY:
What the hell is Keith's problem?......reading his email made me want to roll in a bed of
razor blades and jump into a vat of salt. Geez, what's the matter, Keith?......are you too
good to play by the rules? As a teacher, I see this behavior almost daily.....of course,
mostly by 6 & 7 yr olds. I applaud the guys at OBE for enforcing the rules.....unless Keith
wanted to include his OWN name. Maybe some teams would double their entries to see Keith
officially banned from the contest.
THE GUYS:
Relax brother. Keith was just a bit anxious. Also, that happened a year ago. We're kinda
over it. Short attention span and all.
STIFFY:
Don't worry, it was all in jest......just wanted to take my friendly shot.
It's just that I appreciate your website and since it is free, I really don't think people have
much room to complain.
HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE:
How do you know Earl Hindman is really dead (12/03). Nobody really knows what he looks like?
THE GUYS:
Is this one of those friggn' "How do we know we're not just brains in a jar" questions?
Man, we'll be glad when this whole Matrix thing is over.
BABY CRUSHERS:
2 Things.
1) it's Jan 5th and the 2004 pool is not up yet. Any guess as to when we can expect it.
People are already kicking the bucket.
2) Every time I access Flymetothetomb.com I get 4 or 5 pop ups popping up.
Why is this? any way to stop them?
THE GUYS:
We just sent out a bulletin answering both your questions.
1) Give us a break dude. 117 lists need to go in, be checked, etc. We gotta verify
celebrities. Most large pools take almost a month to post. We have never taken more than 10
days, usually less. Like now.
2) Pop ups should be history!
UNDERDOG:
Tug McGraw was a favorite ballplayer of mine during my youth, despite my not really liking
the Mets or Phillies - a rare achievement in those pre-free agent days when a player's team
meant more to a kid than his personality. If he had to go, I'm glad I got points.
You Gotta Bereave.
THE GUYS:
Absolutely great tag line. Brilliant.
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE:
Thanks Guys! Dang some of those folks are good.
After further review I wouldn’t call Dr. Evil an “expert”.
This might sound like jealousy, but (in my opinion) his 2003 picks were VERY lucky.
They were almost the same list as his 2001 roster which had zero correct. 2002 was the same
exact list as 2001 2003 same as 2002/2001 except replaced the 2 that died in 2002. Not
exactly a lot of thought and/or research into it if you ask me. Ah heck – good for him.
I hope he paid fees.
I think you should have one caveat to the prize you give out. If the person hasn’t paid
before (say March 15th) – then they aren’t eligible for the prize. They can still win the
contest & have bragging rights – but the $$$$ prize should go to the best score to the one
who paid. (just a thought – might get a better percentage of payers)
THE GUYS:
Can't do that. Then its a lottery. We'd bore you with the legal mumbo jumbo but it ain't
worth it. As for Dr. Evil, we know him and he's a hell of a nice guy.
ROBERT Y.:
Just looking at the lists, you misspelled George KENNAN. If the other two spelled it "Keenan"
then I suggest asking them who they were talking about--George Frost Kennan was born Feb 16,
1904 and is an historian/diplomat.
Just wanted to correct this before he offs.
THE GUYS:
Yup. Corrected. All three of you had him.
GUSSETHUNTERS:
I just noticed I was one person short on the death pool...(Gussethunter).
Don't know how I messed that one up, but can I add a long shot to make it even?
If so how about Agus Young AC/DC. If you can help, Thanks alot.
I noticed I was the only one not to place the correct amount. Feel like an idiot.
THE GUYS:
No can do. We try hard to stick to the rules so that we don't open the flood gates.
Don't feel bad. You didn't list a dead person and several players in the past have shorted
themselves.
GUSSETHUNTERS:
Here is my original e-mail, you missed the last one. Joan Fontaine
My 13 stiffs to-be.
Robert Conrad, actor in Black Sheep Squadron
Gerald Ford- Pres of USA
Mother Angelica- TV Nun
Jerry Lewis- Fat bastard / comedian
Gloria Stuart-Actress in Titanic
Olivia Dehavilland-Actress in Gone with the Wind
Richard Pryor-Comedian
Bobby Heenan- "Rasslin" Manager-WCW, WWF
Pope-Pope
Ronald Reagan - Pres of USA
Charles Lane - Actor (he was the coroner in the ELLERY
QUEEN series and Judge Anthony Petrillo in SOAP.)
Fay Wray - Actress.
ALT. Joan Fontaine-Actress and sister to Olivia DeHavilland
THE GUYS:
The last one is your Alternate. This name is only used if one of your picks dies between
your submittal and the New Years Eve Deadline. Submittals should be 13 names PLUS an
alternate. Because no one on your list died between submittal and the deadline, we can't
use the alternate.
We know this can be frustrating but we try to stick with the rules so that the game is even
handed for everyone.
EL MUERTO GIGANTE:
FWIW, my team name's correct spelling is El Muerto Gigante. You have listed both places
as El Meurto Gigante. And just in case this is like a fine Italian restaurant where you slip
the hostess a greenback to ensure a nice table in a timely fashion, I did PayPal you guys a
finner a couple of days ago for all your hard work and perversion. Look kindly upon my
request--we don't want to offend the hispanic community by bastardizing their language.
Or at least misspelling it.
THE GUYS:
Will be done shortly.
ANDY R.:
OBE Guys, I tried to find a picture of the "famous" Paul Hopkins but couldn't find anything
other than a picture of this baseball that he signed. Don't know if you can use it but here
it is. Bye now, PPFF
THE GUYS:
We found this one too. But we're gonna hold tight in hopes of a face shot.
STALKER'S SISTER:
Can I update my list? I know it's already January 9th, and I know I can just ignore any and
all rules........ I need to add Tug McGraw and Paul Hopkins, and everyone else who has
already died.
THE GUYS:
The facetious nature of your comments were not lost on us. On the rest of the group,
who knows.
BREATHLESS ANTICIPATION:
Hey, Guys, I clicked on the “Donate Now” when I sent my list to you in December and paid by
Paypal. Didn’t you get my donation? It was $5 and it says it was sent.
Please check. Somebody deducted the money!
THE GUYS:
Yes, we did. We just screwed up the database somehow. Coulda been the beer.
Fixing it now.
CHEFDEVERGUE:
I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but your site is starting to
become downright edumacational! I was looking at the entries and spotted
the colorful name "Robert David Lion Gardiner," described as "The last
Gardiner." Like that tells me anything at all. Not being from the Eastern
Seaboard, I know about as much about Gardiner's Island as you might know
about, for example, Plante's Ferry. The vague "last Gardiner" reference
forced me to do a little research, and I must say it is a pretty interesting
story. That is one little nugget of interesting information that I would
not possess if not for your little website. Thank you very much. Maybe you
can get some sort of federal grant for providing public services like this.
I also enjoyed your "How do we know we're not just brains in a jar" comment.
Has someone seriously asked you something like that? I haven't been able to
stop laughing, which makes it hard to answer the phone at work.
Also (not to be annoying, but) I was wondering if there are there links to
these old song parody contests? I would like to get an idea of what passes
for a good song parody in the OBE universe before I open myself up to your
abuse. I know you have pretty high standards.
THE GUYS:
If you're referring to the ferry boat and subsequent business built by Antoine Plante,
the alleged French-Canadian of Flathead Indian Heritage who lost the bulk of his ferry
business due to that pesky bridge they built in 1861, we know him. Crap, we won't even
think of calling it Spokane Valley! We call it Plante's Ferry. He also coached softball
for our Grand-dads. This Gardiner fella, we thought he played Jim Rockford on that show
in the '70s. Go figure.
As for the Song Parody Contest. Trial and error pal. That's all your getting.
CHEFDEVRGUE:
Officially, it is "City of Spokane Valley," which has to be one of the
dumbest city names ever, but I digress. By golly, I am humbled (once again)
and stand in awe of your erudition. This website is getting more
educational by the second. Now, when young students in the Inland Northwest
try to look up Antoine Plante on the Internet, there is the possibility that
they might get linked to the OBE...gotta love it.
Trial and error, eh? OK, if you say so. Just remember, this could hurt you
more than it could hurt me.
THE GUYS:
1) Young students can't read.
2) We doubt it.
WE WANTED TO PICK BEN AFFLECK:
Mailed in $10 cold hard cash for the 2004 O.B.E. (Two five dollar bills, mailed out on Dec.
31st, to be exact) and yet, no mention on the "Thank You!" donators page.
What gives?
(no seriously, not looking for a thank you as much as I just want to make sure you got it??)
THE GUYS:
Oops, we screwed up. We haven't gotten around to proofing the "Thank You!" page.
We got your donation. We've rectified the problem.
WE WANTED TO PICK BEN AFFLECK:
Excellent! You guys are the coolest. Keep up the great work, err, fun.
THE PURPLE BINDER:
We were without internet access due to shitty
computer towards the end of the year and I know it's
against the rules but can we enter the death pool for
this year? Thanks.
THE GUYS:
We'd really love to have you. However, that sets up a pretty bad precedent which, in the
long run, we'll regret. So, in short, no. However, play the Song Parody game! It's worth a
few fins if you win. Also, track your list and let us know how you'd have done.
Finally, send us a list next year. Regular mail is okay too!
THE PURPLE BINDER:
Oh well, thought we'd ask anyways. Maybe we'll do up
a list anyway. My purple binder partner would probably
be really good at the song parody game, he is more
musically inclined than I. However, I'll throw in my
two cents to get in on some of that fat (well slim is
probably more like it) cash. My the halls of poor
taste be enshrined with your likenesses.
Purple Binder (Kind of sounds like an east Indian guy
with a rare tropical disease doesn't it?)
THE GUYS:
Actually, it sounds like a professional wrestling move involving one of the wrestler's
testicles. Ouch.
THE PURPLE BINDER:
One quick question, your criteria is an AP obit. Is
there anywhere on the web that has all the AP obits?
THE GUYS:
Click on the JesusSinatra on our Homepage. That's an AP search engine. Then, in the bottom
field type in "obituaries." You'll get the last 14 days. We download them all and save
them to track the pool.
MIKE H.:
I just did a statistical analysis as a group on how we all did in 2003, and the picture shows
that we all suck when it comes to picking corpses. We picked a total of 388 different people
to die (you had Ernst Mayr listed twice by accident) of which only 46 bought the farm for a
rather unimpressive 11.8% ratio. However, to be fair there is another death pool going on the
net and their results are even worse. 765 different corpses were picked on this site with 50
buying the farm for a really anemic 6.5% clip. What does this all mean? That obviously I have
too much time on my hands.
THE GUYS:
yup.
STALKER'S SISTER:
So I guess that Olivia Goldsmith is now part of The Dead Wives Club?
THE GUYS:
Or she's at least Olivia Moldish.
MR. PANTS:
I sent you a five dollar bill and I don't get any props on your site? What's up with that?
THE GUYS:
Oops. We'll fix that.
CHRIS F.:
My email address is changing. Please change it on your
list of OBE Bulletin recipients.
THE GUYS:
We can't. You need to do that via the link on the page.
DR. EVIL:
DOES THIS WORK!?!
THE GUYS:
Well, if your naked in front of a mirror and holding something in your hands,
we'd have to say we're not certain. But, if your asking about your email account, yes.
DR. NOONIAN VAN FOCH:
De nada. Small price to pay for three years of the frequent laughs.
Think your confusing a different envelope with mine, however. The logo was a red oval with
the words "curb appeal" in it (Heinous written to the right of it). We're a sign company.
Not real sure where you got the wine thing from. But if ya ever want to trade some signage
for home-brew, I'm your guy. Like pale ales myself.
THE GUYS:
Your correct. It was a different envelope. It was the other guy whose donation sat in our PO Box for a month who made the wine.
Last time we tried to send beer across state lines in the US mail, the postmaster got a little
bit upset. They're funny like that. Then there was the damn ATF...... them and their full
body cavity searches. Jeesh. It almost made it not worth while. Almost.
ROBERT D.:
Anyone know if Eddie Bunker is actually dead?
THE GUYS:
If you're referring to Eddie Bunker, the actor from Resevoir Dogs (Mr. Blue), He is alive.
By the way:
Eddie Bunker, who played Mr. Blue, is a career criminal and sometime actor. His autobiography,
"Dog Eat Dog", on which Reservoir Dogs is partly based, is one of Quentin Tarantino's
favorites, and the namesake for his production company, Dog Eat Dog Productions.
This is why QT cast him in the movie, despite his having no dialogue and not contributing
to the plot in any way other than being the first to die (in the movie).
WENDY C.:
On 4/23/02, Jay emailed you about Leslie Graves. Leslie Graves was a young actress who most
notably appeared on the daytime soap opera "Capitol" from 1982 until approx. 1984. She was
born 9/29/1959 (variously reported as born on 9/29/1960--12/29/1959--12/29/1960) in
Albuquerque, New Mexico. She died in either December, 1993, or early 1994, of AIDS-related
illness. She left behind a husband and two children. She died in the Los Angeles area.
She also appeared in several movies, one of which was Piranha II-The Spawning (which was James
Cameron [Titanic--Terminator I, II, III] first directorial effort. She also appeared in Death
Wish II, Angel and the tv series "Here We Go Again".
THE GUYS:
Thanks for the info!
MARTIN T.:
What about Spalding Gray?
THE GUYS:
He's dead.
MARTIN T.:
I know. He wasn't on your site when I wrote that email.
THE GUYS:
He's dead.
No he wan't on our site. He was on the shoreline of the East River.
MARTIN T.:
Ah, I got confused because your site is at the bottom at the East River. My mistake.
THE GUYS:
He's dead.
Well, bottom of the barrel perhaps, but the East River? Nah.
CHEFDEVERGUE:
Spalding in a Box. Maybe Spalding in an Urn, I'm not really sure which.
THE GUYS:
Hooray for Captain Spalding, the African explorer. Did someone call me snorer? Hooray,
hooray, hooray.
CHEFDEVERGUE:
I never take a drink unless somebody's buying
EDWARD W.:
In the song parady can we use a form of one of the required words. In this case the word is
sit can we use sits or sitting?
THE GUYS:
You certainly may!
STALKER'S SISTER:
Just wondering, has the mail bag not been updated in some time, or is my computer just
hungry?
THE GUYS:
Uh, its that some time thing.
MARVIN M.:
It's fifty, not Fifity. I didn't know you stuttered.
THE GUYS:
Look here. S-s-s-so me make a f-f-few typos every once and wh-wh-wh-while.
Also, w-w-we don't s-s-stutter. Damn.
STALKER'S SISTER:
Yay!!!! It's about time that someone on my list died. After all, it is almost May.
Maybe I can get a run over the next week or so....(If you remember, I'm supposed to
win this thing this year
THE GUYS:
Yeah, you and 100 other sickos.
KICKED BUCKETS:
Kind of a quiet (or at least unglamorously dull) year so far, though no
shortage of bodies.
I'm sure you're already on top of the Tony Randall tragedy (somewhere right
now, the original Odd Couple finally get an understudy - Jack Klugman,
you're nine lives are almost up!), but I discovered another death that a few
Watchers have on their lists whom hasn't been ticked off yet:
Charlotte Benkner, recently re-seeded as "the 2nd oldest person in the
world", died on Friday May 14th. This story broke on the AP wire on or
about May 16-17.
Here's a few news links that all refer to an AP copyright or have an AP
byline:
http://www.ktvu.com/news/3311506/detail.html
http://www.news8austin.com/content/headlines/?ArID=107184&SecID=2
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/news/516_secondoldestdies.html
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2004/05/16/462324-ap.html
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/ny-bc-ny--obit-secondoldest0516may16,0,3369049.story?coll=ny-ap-regional-wire
Lastly, one thing to note is that the 9 Death Watchers who have her on their
lists (present company included), all have her last name spelled "Benker"
(not "Benkner" as the AP is newly reporting). I hope this won't pose a
problem, besides, how can 9 people all be wrong?
Thanks for all your hard word as usual.
THE GUYS:
All taken care of, including our lousy spelling.
MEDIA QUEEN:
1) Your site says it's "Locked". How about unlocking it? Or try paying your hosting bill,
you cheap bastards.
B) Who the hell picks these old #%^&% that you post? Tony Randall kicks it and not a peep
out of you. But the man who owed Jesus a buck gets a big notice? Who besides you gives a
&*#$ about these bozos?
III) How ya been?
THE GUYS:
1) Just quit out of your browser and restart. The site will be fine.
B) Uh, we peeped about Tony Randall and your peers pick the "old #%^&%." An old #%^&%, my
dear, is better than no #%^&% at all. As an aside, we gave Jesus that buck ages ago.
III) Good but time strapped. Life rolls forward, all is well. Et tu Eve-ay?
ROBERT Y.:
I scored 4 points with this double-whammy:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/05/31/obit.martin.ap/
In other news, the world's oldest person, Ramona Trinidad Iglesias-Jordan (whom you
mentioned in the Charlotte Benkner obit) died:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/05/31/oldest.person.ap/index.html
And nobody picked her!
The truth is, the family didn't send in the claim until March 2004 and it wasn't
accepted until April 2004. Charlotte Benkner was thought to have been the world's
oldest person since Nov 13 2003, but after the Ramona case was verified, she dropped
to 2nd-oldest--and no one had Ramona on their list, since no one knew about her (except
me, but I didn't know if she would make the AP or not, until her claim was verified last
month).
But... We don't want to bore the deathpoolers with FACTS, they want HUMOR. So how
about needling the group that not one entrant picked the world's oldest person this year,
and she died. How "stupid" of us to miss that one.
THE GUYS:
Yeah, yeah. We saw this one last night but were too drunk to care. We'll get to it.
Calm your jets. It's not like she did Lincoln or something.
DIE2K:
Just for the record, Alberta Martin suffered a heart atack on May 7, but did not die until
Monday, May 31. Trust me--I was holding an extended vigil.
THE GUYS:
Thank you.
M. W.:
i'm not an entrant,just a follower,but what about Ray Charles?6/10/04
THE GUYS:
Well, he was blind and he could sing realy well. What else did you want to know?
HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE:
Alberta Harris? Last widow? HA! Maw's gonna be pissed!
THE GUYS:
From what we hear, Mom is pissed six nights a week and Sundays.
STALKER'S SISTER:
To borrow a quote from The Stalker "@#$% Me!" I took Mattie Stepanek off my list (where he's
been for the past 2 years) cause it really was just too sick to have a little kind on a death
list....and what happens?
THE GUYS:
Wow! The Stalker say that? Often?
STALKER'S SISTER:
Well, she did, until she found God and stuff. (Although I never knew he was lost)
THE GUYS:
Crap, so we missed the boat?
DR. NOONIAM VAN FOCH:
I wanted to take a minute to respond to the Charlotte Benkner thing. When I got ya'lls email
about her demise I agreed whole heartedly with ya. Lousy pick, deminishes the game for the
rest of us, etc. Then about a month later I discovered that I had her on my list. So I went
back and checked my notes and discovered the rationale behind picking her. At the time, she
was credited as being the oldest living woman and by my notes the oldest living person as well.
If she, at the time of her death, was listed as the second oldest then that came up after the
start of the year after they dug up that Ramona woman. Its worth pointing out that nine
people put Charlotte on their lists and no one picked Ramona.
Also, I'll briefly defend picking old bags (and geezers) as well. Betting that someone who
lives to be 112 can't make it another year is hardly a sure thing. How many years did that
Ferris-luse chick confound deathwatchers? And in so far as the celebrity status goes, more
water-cooler gossipers are likely to discuss the death of the worlds oldest person than some
retired race car designer or Pope biographer. For the record, I was just as annoyed by the
Tad Szulc thing as everyone else; particularly since he was on the winning entry. But I
understand that there have to be rules and criteria. To me, part of the fun is trying to
come up with a valid pick that no one else will think of. The sneaky pick, if you will.
Sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn't. The 28 billion dollar smoker didn't get
an A.P. write up, for example. Thats the risk I took.
So ends my rant. Sorry if she looked like a shitty pick. On Dec. 31, she was fair game.
On a different note, I don't know if anybody has ever commented on how entertaining it can be
offending co-workers by going "KA-CHING!" everytime someone famous dies. Turns out there
were some real big Marlon Brando fans at work today. Well worth the price of admission.
As always, thanks for the entertainment.
THE GUYS:
We were just about to uload on you for WAY over-analyzing things when we got to the whole
Marlan Brando KA-CHING thing. You were spared.
DR. EVIL:
So I guess that Isabelle Sanford is "Moving on up....to that deeee-lux apartment in the sky."
I can't come up with any thing for Jeff Smith, I'm soooooo ashamed of myself.
THE GUYS:
Assuming you're a male cooking assistant, JefF Smith coulda come up with something for you.
STACEY THE STALKER:
The man is away, so I have a few minutes to myself as well as access to the computer
without punching him in the neck.
I just visited the site, and was scoping out the mailbag and I realize I haven't written
since January. I've just been too busy being Godly and such.
I'm not the same stalker I used to be. (not that you care, but here is a pic of us... I was
so sick that day bronchitis and puffy and ick)
THE GUYS:
Actually, we haven't posted email in about 6 months. We've ben busy. As for you not being
the same Stalker (the kinder more gentler Stalker now we suppose), of course we care!
The happiness and spiritual fulfillment of our players, our families, our friends...In
the end, that's what it's all about. Oh yeah, then we all die too. It's also about
that.
STLAKER'S SISTER:
I guess it really isn't a good day for Fay Wray?
THE GUYS:
Beat's getting fingered by a giant gorilla. Uh, we guess.
STLAKER'S SISTER:
Good thing you added that disclaimer. Otherwise I'd have to *really* worry about you guys.
I guess Julia Child isn't doing any more cooking.
THE GUYS:
We suppose that all depends on her behavior here on earth coupled with one's belief
in otherworldly retribution.
MARVIN M.:
Yeah, well I've waited for this guy since you started the pool. Now I
got to think of someone else who'll live forever.
I can't come up with any thing for Jeff Smith, I'm soooooo ashamed of myself.
THE GUYS:
Dracula? Dorian Gray? Just a couple thoughts.
STALKER'S SISTER:
So I'm a bit late.
NY radio just won't be the same without "The Professor" Soctt Muni.
I can't come up with any thing for Jeff Smith, I'm soooooo ashamed of myself.
THE GUYS:
Have you done an EPT?
STALKER'S SISTER:
I actually did three to make sure. They all came up positive. That means I'm having
triplets, right?
CHRIS S.:
sinatra only got the part of maggio when eli wallach(who was meant to play him)dropped out.
sinatra read for the part just like everyone else.
THE GUYS:
Ok.
JERAMY M.:
Your site is disgusting! You think that you are cute and funny, but in actuality, you are a
bunch of asses!
THE GUYS:
First off, our site is not disgusting. Lima beans, they're disgusting. Our site; tasteless
maybe, disgusting, nah! Second, and for the record, only one of us thinks they're cute. Both,
however, think they're at least somewhat funny. So, apparently, do the hundreds of folks who
are on our email list and the over one hundred active players in the Death Watch. Of course,
they're probably all "asses" too and you're the only member of the intelligentsia out there.
Finally, you forgot to tell us how we're going to burn in hell. That one always cracks us up.
You know, if we had a nickel for every time some web-surfer emailed us to tell us of their
sanctimonious opinions about our site we'd have enough for at least a six pack of Piels and
some Andy Capp Pub Fries. Mmmmmm. Mind sending a nickel?
CHRIS W.:
Looks like I finally got my first hit in 22 months of
playing. Betty Hill passed away at 85, famous for
being abducted by aliens and having that turned into a
book and a bad movie.
THE GUYS:
Yup, were not just two big asses, we're also a little behind. We're updating now.
COURTNEY C.:
Why haven't you put Ken Caminiti in your Dead Guys list? I e-mailed you before about this.
He died the same day Chris Reeve died and you still haven't added him to your list. He was a
pro baseball player who played for four different teams. I assumed you just don't count
baseball players as famous people, but then I saw that you put Chuck Hiller on the list.
Here is an AP article about his death in case you just haven't heard of him.
THE GUYS:
He was a dude who obscured the legacy of a good baseball career with drug use. We typically
post folks we think are celebrities and/or folks who appear on peoples lists. In our opinon,
what really made Caminti a household name wasn't his "celebrity" status for his baseball
playing, it was his drug issues. Sad story about a guy who lost control. Not postable for
us though.
By way of example, Daryll Strawberry dies (hey, it's just an example). You're at the water
cooler at work with the gang (not just the sports buffs). You say, "Hey, Daryll Strawberry
died and I got 3 points!." They say, "You sick pup. Strawberry, he was a pretty good ball
player, did that rap video, and then messed it all up with drugs." Now, you do the same thing
with Caminiti and it goes like this. "Hey Caminiti died and I got 3 points!" They say,
"You twisted bastard, who the heck was Ken Caminiti." You say, "You know, that guy who
admitted the steroid use and ended up with a wicked cocaine problem." They say, "Right,
right, we think we remeber him." And thus, Ken "Nose Candy" Caminiti fails the water cooler
test.
Chuck Hiller got posted because someone had him on their list.
COURTNEY C.:
I think I get it... The world's oldest people and people who see aliens are remembered at the
water cooler... Yeah makes sense seeing as I've never heard of any of them until I saw them on
your list. Bet you more people have heard of Caminiti than any of them. Besides your rules
said any celebrity with and AP article on his/her death. It never said anything about how the
guy lived being of any importance. And yeah I don't agree with his cocaine habit, but he was
a damn good ballplayer until he screwed it up. But it's your rules and your list so do what
you want.
THE GUYS:
We agree with the start of your email. We don't think world's oldest, etc. are celebrities
either. However, those people APPEAR ON SOMEONE'S LIST. Caminiti doesn't. To repeat
ourselves, we only post obits for people we think are celebrities (e.g the big names)
AND FOR PEOPLE WHO APPEAR ON SOMEONE'S LIST. So, your statments, though true, do nothing to
support your argument. Plus, he was a coke head.
DR. NOONIAN VAN FOCH
A question about death. In 8.3 of the rules it refers to certain riff raff and scheduled
executions. Does an executed person count if he isn't officially condemned until after the
new year? I'm referring to Sadaam Housein. He stands a real good chance of getting tried
convicted and shot next year. I personally figure he'll hang himself, get shanked or be
shot while trying to escape; long before he has a chance to open his mouth in a public forum.
But if not he might get fast-tracked right up against a brick wall. Sure seems like he
should count, but I'd like to confirm this anyway.
THE GUYS:
An excellent question. It is the scheduled acts that invalidate the death, not the schedule
itself. So, if Saddam eats some bad tuna for his last meal and croaks, it counts. If they
jolt a few thousand volts through his camel humping ass, it doesn't.
DR. NOONIAN VAN FOCH
Wow. Not the answer I expected. I'm real cool with the fact that ya'll are
"the guys" and as such your word is final. I therefore won't argue with you
about it. But could I impose to ask why its the scheduled act and not the
schedule? If I understand your reasoning, if I pick Michael Jackson in
December, he flies to Cambodia in January, gets tried and convicted of some
sleazy sordid shit in February and is executed in grizzly fashion come
March, his death wouldn't count for me. Is this correct? As this relates
to Sadaam, he could, I suppose, beat the rap. His death is therefore not
scheduled at this point. (at least officially)
Don't feel like you have to answer me on this and I will of course be a
happy deathwatcher for years to come, but I am real curious about this finer
detail.
THE GUYS:
Bottom line, it's the scheduled ACT that has to cause the death in order for it not to count.
If a guy throws a heart attack on the way to the electric chair, it counts. If he gets his
ass fried, however, it doesn't. See, anyone can pick someone you KNOW will die from a
scheduled event. It's the unexpected croaking we like.
TONY R.
How come Howard Keel isn't on your "Dead Folks" list? He was a big movie star ya' know.
THE GUYS:
Look, we liked The Day of the Triffids as much as the next guy, but "big movie star," we
think not.
ROBERT Y.:
That should move me from 4th place to 3rd:
Plot Plot Fizz Fizz---7 deaths, 25 pts
Sales of a Deathman: 7 deaths, 23 pts
Time to Go--7 deaths, 22 pts
Vicious Piranha--6 deaths, 20 pts
Well, it's going to be another close finish this year. I think still have centenarians
George Kennan and Ernst Mayr, and Stanley Kunitz is what, 98? So I may not be through yet.
Of course I finished 2nd in 2002 and 2nd in 2003. How about some 2nd and 3rd-place prizes?
Finally, "last Confederate widow" Alberta Martin died May 31, not May 7. And yes, they did
find another Confederate widow after her passing--in Arkansas. No word yet on whether its
Morguenoila Blossom Lee.
THE GUYS:
Yes. We're aware of Alberta, Fred and your sloppy seconds standing.
First, through beer drinking and .html interfacing, we've somehow lost our Alberta Martin
posting. It was there, trust us. Check the mail bag.
Second, we're just late sending out the Fred Hale bulletin.
Third, we ARE offering a second prize in 2005. Read the new rules!
ROBERT Y.:
I think you missed someone who should have been in the "2004" deaths this year.
Ramona Trinidad Iglesias-Jordan, the official "worlds' oldest person" died May 29 at 114.
If you have "second oldest" (Charlotte Benkner) surely you should add Ramona too.
Plus I'll throw in a contribution for the 2005 pool (like I did in 2000 with Sarah Knauss).
THE GUYS:
We didn't miss her. We just don't like to post these unless they're on a list.
BABY CRUSHERS:
I read your obit on Fred Hale and I agree that these Oldest person picks
should not
count towards the OBE death pool. Even though I had Fred Hale, I don't think
these people
are celebrities either. So...maybe it is time to implement a new rule in the
OBE.
the No Oldest Person In The World Allowed Rule (AKA the NOPITWAR).
THE GUYS:
Nah, too much work and too many arguments. It's easier to let the AP decide and then just gripe about it.
REBECCA S.:
Hi. I’m emailing regarding a very old post, but my stepmother, Leslie Graves, died in August
1995, not 1993 or 1994. I’m not sure why there’s a discrepancy. Her son Jimmy was a year old
at the time. He’s 10, and doing beautifully. Her daughter Amanda was adopted many years ago,
and I don’t know how she’s doing.
THE GUYS:
Thanks for the info.
JESSE R.:
This slipped under my radar and appears to have slipped under yours, too. John Barrymore
died more than a week ago.
THE GUYS:
Nah, we've just been hibernating.
M.I. RICH:
Johnny Oates, the baseball manager, is dead, giving dead-poolers a Christmas present. But he's off the list for 2005.
Speaking of 2005, I probably won't be playing in any dead pools after Dec. 31. Too much hassle, too much to do, too busy, life's just too nuts.
You've been great, so thanks.
THE GUYS:
We're gonna miss you. You've been a great player. We understand the demands of life and the
fact that they should always trump the demands of death. We've often thought of throwing it
in on this pool as it requires a large time investment. Job, Families, etc... make that tough.
It's pretty hard to say, Daddy can't play, he's writing Milton Berle's obituary. Regardless,
we love the fans too much to stop just yet.
Again, thanks for all the good times. All the best!
M.I. RICH:
Johnny Oates, the baseball manager, is dead, giving dead-poolers a Christmas present. But he's off the list for 2005.
Speaking of 2005, I probably won't be playing in any dead pools after Dec. 31. Too much hassle, too much to do, too busy, life's just too nuts.
You've been great, so thanks.
THE GUYS:
We're gonna miss you. You've been a great player. We understand the demands of life and the
fact that they should always trump the demands of death. We've often thought of throwing it
in on this pool as it requires a large time investment. Job, Families, etc... make that tough.
It's pretty hard to say, Daddy can't play, he's writing Milton Berle's obituary. Regardless,
we love the fans too much to stop just yet.
Again, thanks for all the good times. All the best!
TATAKUKU:
Best wishes for 2005. And a vote of support to you all and your dedication.
Thanks for keeping this going despite cheapskates like Karen W and myself.
We pay what we can and it's harder from the other side of the world for us
to do this. So come on you other tight fishes out there...Give so that we
can all receive.
THE GUYS:
Hey, we have no gripes with you guys. You each paid your fair share.
DT:
Do wee just, PICK who's gonna DIE in 2005?
How many?
THE GUYS:
How about you take five minutes outta your pathetic existence and READ THE RULES!
That's why we take the time outta of OUR pathetic lives to write them.
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